6 Months Ago...

It's hard to believe that it has been six months already since I was volunteering in Boma. I realize that I haven't blogged since then, but the transition was bitter sweet and the feelings were often hard to describe. The "Tanzanian Haze" lingered weeks after landing in NYC, and now it's all I can do to stop myself from day dreaming about The Hannah School, Safari, or our trips to Moshi, Arusha, and Zanzibar.

Because I received 3 credits for my volunteer placement from my college, I had to write a 30+ page text about my experience. It could be anything; a research paper, a compilation of my journals, a memoir. I chose to do a little of all three. I just finished the work, and handed it in to Jim, my mentor, yesterday. He has already replied with wonderful feedback. I was unsure if my writing would convey the experience in a way that would make sense to others. It's hard to experience something like volunteering in a third world country and easily explain it so that others understand it the same way you would like them to understand it. While I believe that no one will truly perceive Tanzania the way the other volunteers and I have, I beamed over Jim's feedback. He commented on specific observations I made about their culture, he paid close-attention to the deep-rooted feelings I have in volunteering and offered ways in which to continue this in the states, he spoke of sustainability and the undermining of cultural strengths, the idea of beauty and happiness and what it means cross-culturally.

Since I've been home from Tanzania, I have been yearning for an understanding from someone other than a volunteer. It feels like an accomplishment, and it has given me a sense of closure, to receive Jim's understanding.

I remember having a conversation with Colleen upon our return to the states. We were talking about the "Ah Ha!" moment that we figured in the beginning of our trip we would have following it. We've all realized now that you don't get one. Not really, anyway. Here is a snippet from my last journal in Tanzania:

While I can sense that I have changed for the better, I believe that the real sense of change will come in the weeks, months, and years ahead. I would like to take what I have learned about myself and others and continue to battle all of my fears and doubts with the strength that I have learned on my African journey. I want this attitude change to last; I want my new found outlook on myself and the world around me to exist in a future where I will continually be faced with new uncertainties and doubts; I want my perspective on life to continually change as important aspects of my life transform and adjust to my surroundings. I have learned so much about the person I was before this trip, the person I became during, and the person I hope to become.

So it's not about the moment where you realized you're life has changed for the better, but it's what you do with that moment that has the ability to change the rest of your life.